Beyoncing Baby For Jay-Z & BEYONCE??

BABY BUMP? No, Maybe not

Rumors sparked this week that Beyonce may be pregnant with Jay-Z’s child. Rumor has it the kid will be named Jeyonce or Bay-Z.

This is truly amazing because millions of people all over the world…..don’t give a shit. Wow, a lucky child may be born into a a rich, celebrity superstar family; I think we know how this story ends:  The kid will either become a huge celebrity due to talent and/or nepotism….or the kid will die young of an overdose.  It’s predictable and it’s been done MANY times before.  You wanna impress me with a birth story?  Show me how the recently knocked-up IHOP waitress who works the graveyard shift in Huntington, West Virginia is gonna pay health insurance for two people  –  now THAT’S a story!

Just imagine Beyonce’s and Jay-Z’s baby. That kid is gonna be born with a big head AND a big ass. With these pronounced features, the child will probably excel at dancing and soccer. However dodgeball won’t be this kid’s gig; ’cause he/she will be walking around with two enormous targets.

That kid is gonna bust outta the womb, then bust rhymes!  As soon as the doctor cuts the umbilical cord, the baby’s gonna drop it like it’s hot!

Beyonce has denied these rumors saying, “I’m not pregnant.  I’m just not filming any videos this month.” Beyonce’s publicist said, “She’s fine; she’s just going to continue resting.”  Um….she didn’t train to become a Navy Seal; she just got knocked up.

Jay-Z’s representative did not immediately respond to these rumors….but that’s only because he just smoked a fat blunt with Jay-Z.

By Claude Stuart. ©2009 Claude Stuart. All Rights Reserved.


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