LADY GAGA: Stays Celibate to Fight AIDS

In an effort to fight AIDS, Lady Gaga claims she’s abstaining from sex.  She told the press, “I’m celibate.”  But she didn’t specify for how long….she could be celibate for just the next 10 minutes.  Hell, I’m currently stuck in an airport, typing away on my laptop; and until I see my fiance in L.A., I’M celibate!

When asked what her goal was, Lady Gaga told a male reporter “My first objective is –  I want to stop the global AIDS crisis.”  Then the reporter asked what her second objective is; she answered, “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”  Lady Gaga is about as subtle as Jim Carrey quoting and dancing to Snoop Dogg.

LG told People magazine that her going celibate will help solve the HIV crisis.  My question:  How many lovers does this chick have?  If Lady Gaga honestly thinks abstaining from her sexual partners will put an end to spreading AIDS; she’s gotta be taking more shots than Pacino at the end of Scarface.

I’m personally a little worried about Lady Gaga; she looks skinny enough to have the HIV.

Here’s my advice, kids:  You wanna know the best way to be celibate?  Dress like Lady Gaga.  No man wants to bang a woman dressed like chandelier or a Lite Brite.  And no woman wants to bang a man with 8-inch boots and more makeup than Ronald McDonald.  Now go write a Bad Romance!


By Claude Stuart

©2010 Claude Stuart. All Rights Reserved.

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