Pamela Anderson, 4 Bronzed Boobs

Pamela Anderson now has an identical twin!  At least according to Marc Quinn’s new art exhibit.  The British artist has opened his exhibit in London, and Pam Anderson is featured in the form of a bronze statue, shaped like two scantily clad twins.

Marc Quinn named Anderson’s statue “The Ecstatic Autogenesis of Pamela”.  He changed it from its original title: “Party of 5”.  (Seriously, the Pam Anderson statue is titillating.  I researched it; I’m abreast of the situation. That’s right, I’m gonna milk this predictable premise.  Alright, time to can it; I feel like a boob.)*

Anderson is a huge fan of Quinn’s work and jumped at the chance to work with him.  She told the tabloids, “I didn’t even ask what he wanted to do with me. I would have done anything.”  The original producers of Baywatch responded to this, saying “That’s absolutely true. We didn’t give her the part ‘cause she could act.”

Anderson is very complimentary of Quinn’s finished product of her twins’ images, calling it “raw, not perfect.  I think that’s what makes it interesting.  Sexy isn’t perfect.”  Well, if that’s the case; now I understand why women are into Seth Rogen.

This entire exhibit is dedicated to people “who have transformed their appearances”.  Next up, Quinn will be featuring Mickey Rourke, Bridget Neilson and Obama’s political views.

Marc Quinn has always used bronze in his celebrity works.  In 2006 he made a bronze, life-sized statue of Kate Moss.  Oddly enough, Kate Moss’s statue weighs 5 times more than she does.  And Kate didn’t like seeing herself in the image of a statue, telling reporters “It made me wanna throw up.”

Quinn explained the theme of his exhibit, stating “You’ve got people who’ve transformed the outsides of their bodies to  fit how they feel inside.”  Evidently, Pam Anderson feels….very artificial.  Don’t get me wrong; she looks fantastic; but Pammy’s body and hair color are faker than Kevin Costner’s foreign accents.

The Mighty Quinn did a great job at consistently showcasing his theme throughout his display, including statues of transgender porn stars Allanah Star (a male-to-female) and Buck Angel (a female-to-male).  Star and Angel stand naked and hold hands, a la Adam and Eve….or in this case, Adamina and Evan.  It’s interesting; Allanah Star is a man who became a woman; Buck Angel is a woman turned man; and now they’re both popular porn stars.  People pay them a lot of money to watch them have sex on camera….and I gotta be honest, not only would I not bang either of them; I don’t wanna see anyone else do it, either!  But that’s the beauty of the American dream, man.  I mean, girl.  Uh….both.

So what’s next for Pam Anderson?  The “Dancing with the Stars” hottie just launched her own vegan milkshake.  It’s tasty; the ice cream floats on top of the shake; and when popped with a straw, the ice cream starts leaking.

(*I lost a bet with my editor; my payment was to put in 5 bad boob puns in this article.  I think I put in about 8.  Clearly, I’m an over-achiever…)

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