All Time Most Crucial Twitter Abbreviations

Image: ©2010 Lex Gable. All Rights Reserved.

Conversational abbreviations:

  • IMHO = In my humble opinion
  • AYFKMWTS = Are you f—-ing kidding me with this s—-?
  • GTFOOH = Get the f—- out of here
  • OH = Overheard
  • FW = No f—-ing way
  • IRL = In real life
  • NSFW = Not safe for work
  • FML = F—- my life
  • FWIW = For what it’s worth
  • QOTD = quote of the day
  • BTW = By the way
  • BFN = Bye for now
  • AFAIK = As far as I know
  • TY = Thank you
  • YW = You’re welcome

Technical Twitter abbreviations:

  • MT = Modified tweet. This means the tweet you’re looking at is a paraphrase of a tweet originally written by someone else
  • RT = Retweet. The tweet you’re looking at was forwarded to you by another user
  • DM = Direct message. A direct-message is a message only you and the person who sent it can read. Important: To DM someone all you need to type is D username message
  • PRT = Partial retweet. The tweet you’re looking at is the truncated version of someone else’s tweet
  • HT = Hat tip. This is a way of attributing a link to another Twitter user
  • CC = Carbon-copy. Works the same way as email

AND, here’s the good news text-aholics, you can use them when TEXTING too. Whoopee.

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Bridget The Midget Porn Star Gets Cop in Trouble

We’ve all seen many movies where a cop must turn in his badge, usually because he’s investigating the wrong case or being framed. But recently a police officer in Stoughton, Massachusetts had to cough up his badge because he bailed during his patrol. You’re probably asking, “Why, a family emergency”? No, he just wanted to see a strip club routine….by the infamous Bridget the Midget.

Richard Bennett immediately cut his nightshift short when he discovered adult film star Bridget Powers, a.k.a. “Bridget the Midget”, was performing a live striptease in the area. So Dick chose to hang low on his beat….to beat on his hang-low. That’s right, he played hookie to go play with a hooker. (Sorry, this blog has a 2-consecutive stupid pun-maximum.)

When I first read this story, I actually sympathized for Bennett. First of all, the obvious advantage of midget strippers is lapdances are half-off.  In this economy, you can’t afford to NOT get a midget lapdance.  For ten bucks, if I have a choice between getting two footlongs at Subway or watching a nymphomaniac dwarf do pole-work….I’m going with Plan B in a hearbeat!

In defending himself, Bennet told The Boston Hearald , “Where was the news when I pulled someone out of a burning car last year? You know all the good things you do, and I’m going to be remembered for one stupid decision. It just sucks.”

That’s true….and Richard also earned praise for helping capture a suspected killer last month.  But this isn’t the first time Dick’s been in trouble: He put an unapproved laserscope on his gun then lied to investigators about it.  So sounds like Bennett makes Harvey Keitel from Bad Lieutenant look like Detective Sipowicz.

Plus, Bennett wasn’t very well-liked at the Stoughton P.D. After he viewed the diminutive dancing diva, 5 of his co-workers reported him to their superiors. Responding to this, Bennet snarled, “I may be a pig, but at least I’m not a rat!” Wow, fiendishly clever. Oddly enough, Bennett doesn’t have a PHD in creative writing…nor a letter of recommendation. (I can only imagine his witty, post-coital zingers. After a prostitute addresses him as ‘Officer Bennett’, he replies, “Bennett? Hell, I think you broke it!”)

INTERESTING FACT: Bridget the Midget is only 79 pounds, which is still more than Tara Reid weighs.

I love the name “Bridget the Midget”; it makes me wonder what it says on her drivers’ license….With porn stars, it’s usually an effective hook to have a rhyming name; but not all of them work. For example, “Bridget the Midget”  is a lot more popular than “Wyatt the Giant” or the “Newton the Mutant”.

Bridget has appeared in 65 to 70 original adult films.  This always confuses me; porn stars never give a specific number of movies they’ve done; it’s always a range.  You’d think you would know how many dirty flicks you’ve been paid to star in; and the internet adult film database (iafd.com) says she’s only done 51 movies.  Bridget’s film resume is more ambiguous than Captain Jack Sparrow’s sexuality. Most professions don’t work like this; I can’t imagine a lawyer, when asked how many cases they’ve won, answering “Like 10 to 50.”

I’ve never seen a Bridget the Midget film, but I want to based on the titles alone. My favorites are Runaway Midget: Midget in a SuitcaseLittlest SquirtDon’t Watch This Movie andWhack Attack 8. Confession: If I were to do a porno with a little person, I’d call it Itty Bitty Bang Bang.

By Claude Stuart

©2010 Claude Stuart. All Rights Reserved.