Kardashian Vagina Laserama

On the latest episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, Khloe gets laser hair removal for the first time.  This doesn’t disturb me; but you know what does?  The fact that Kim’s in the room next to her sister, creating dialogue so embarrassingly idiotic that even Paris Hilton would have mocked it.

Kim starts this thinktank by saying, “You have a better, like, looking vagina than I thought.” A grown woman stuck an unnecessary “like” between an adverb! She replaced a hyphen with “like”, the most overused word by any female teenager!  (Is it obvious my mother was a grammar teacher?)

Khloe responds with a reasonable query: “What did you think my vagina was going to look like?”  I credit the taller sibling for being rational; what did she imagine her sister’s crackerjack to resemble, a tuba?

Kim keeps this train of brilliance rolling by saying, “I thought it was, like, a shaved, rashy vagina.”  Again, she uses a superfluous “like”.  Then, she admits to have envisioned her little sis’s quim to look like a Neo-Nazi with Herpes.  In the vaginal world, “Shaved” is popular; “Rashy” is not.

Instead of asking what the hell’s wrong with Kim’s lack of thought process, Khloe instead simply retorts, “I have a nice ass, too.”  This immediately creates two thoughts in my head: 1) I thought Kim was the one with the nice ass and 2) I don’t think anybody has an attractive derriere when its getting waxed.

By Claude Stuart
©2010 Claude Stuart. All Rights Reserved.

Jennifer Aniston Stole Lindsay Lohan’s Boyfriend?

Jennifer Anniston is rumored to be dating Harry Morton, who’s most famous for dating Lindsay Lohan and being the founder of the Pink Taco restaurant chain.

They dined at the Sunset Tower Hotel.  Morton told Anniston, “It’s so refreshing to hang out with a chick who orders a ‘Coke’ and doesn’t expect it to come in a baggie.”

The tabloids reported that the two were seen “using public displays of affection and canoodling” at the restaurant.  In a related story, George W. Bush thinks “canoodling” involves a microwave and a bag with the word “Ramen” on it.

So the founder of Pink Taco is dating one of the worlds’ most popular, successful actresses.  It just goes to show you: women will date any dude who has a lucrative business, no matter what they name it.  If Eva Mendez started dating a guy who made a fortune off a website called “Motorboating Titfreaks”, it would not surprise me.

Anniston recently said she doesn’t need a man to have kids.  That’s true….but she does need a man to make kids.

She’s 11 years older than he; she was almost 9 years older than John Mayer  –  why isn’t SHE the star of “Cougar Town”?  Better yet, why is “Cougar Town” on the air?

By Claude Stuart
©2010 Claude Stuart. All Rights Reserved.