Everyone has had their “better half” stolen; but imagine getting your boyfriend or girlfriend snatched away by the world’s biggest pop star. That’s what happened to Alex Stebbins.

Who took her man? Lady Gaga.

For an entire year Ms. Stebbins was dating Luc Carl, a 29-year-old bartender/drummer whose previous girlfriend was Lady Gaga. Suddenly the megastar suddenly begged him to take her back, and he couldn’t say no. Apparently, he doesn’t like bartending.

LG always takes it a step further. Most women wear rollers in their hair; she wears soda cans. Most women use bubbles to make a bath; she uses bubbles to make a dress. Gwen Stefani rips off Madonna; Christina Aguilera rips off Brittany Spears; Gaga rips off all four of these ladies.

Stebbins feels that it’s futile to compete with the pop icon. She said, “I knew I wasn’t going toe to toe with Lady Gaga, because that’s like fighting Jesus.” I interviewed Mr. Christ; and he replied, “That’s actually not true because I would never steal anything; and when it comes to fighting, I always turn the other cheek.” Amen. (Vanity may be one of the 7 deadly sins, but it’s not one of the 10 commandments.)

How did Carl break the news to Alex that he’s leaving her for Gaga? Right after taking Alex to Vegas for her birthday; he confessed LG showed up at his place…..and he agreed to be exclusive with her again. The next thing Alex knew, she was watching the Mets’ game on TV when she saw Luc sitting with the icon in a luxury box – and Gaga had a profanity-laced, bird-flipping, clothes-removing meltdown on the paparazzi. One of the photographers asked her, “Lady Gaga, why are you so mad? You wrote a song about us!”

Alex said she was surprised her dude went back to Ms. Gaga, because the singer relentlessly picked on him and “all they did was fight”. But if couples who argue more than Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in War of the Roses stay together, it’s because the sex is astronomically mind-blowing. Bad Romances ain’t all that bad.

It’s nice to see a dude actually going for the less attractive woman for a change. My gender gets incessantly ridiculed for being too shallow and overly visual; but looks are clearly not the most important thing to ‘ole Carl. Alex is way hotter!

Yes, Mr. Carl went with his heart….and by “heart”, I mean “financial needs”.

There’s no disputing LG is in incredible shape….but sometimes she looks like Marilyn Mason and Dee Snider from Twisted Sister in a bubbledress.

Don’t feel too bad for Alex Stebbins. She’s a hot, young actress who’ll be living with Charlie Sheen in 2 months; calling the cops on him in 3 months; and getting a fat check from him right after that.

What’s next for Lady Gaga? She has a new perfume coming out. I’m guessing it smells like greed and androgyny.

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